Being Honest With Children From The Start
When's a lie, half-truth or secret (even a little one) ok?
How about when -
It's a once off?
Nobody's going to find out?
You're doing it to protect someone you care about?
It makes you feel better about yourself?
EVERYONE else is doing it?
Martha Beck's book The Way Of Integrity talks about three different types of lies....
Small or big lies, half-truths and secrets are signs or symptoms of how you feel about yourself.
Do you feel embarrassed, rejected or vulnerable?
Do you fear not measuring up or being ignored?
Are you going along with what other parents do and say to fit in?
The lies you tell or secrets you keep don't end up helping anyone, it disconnects you from the people you love most - your children.
The meme below was created to make you laugh, but there’s truth to it. Children are lied to by the people who love them the most from when they’re babies. What’s this teaching/showing them?
Daniel Quinn gives this explanation for the obscene amount of lies being told and the effects it's having on you, your family, and our communities.
Where to from here?
How do we all move toward truth and transparency?
I don’t have all the answers, but here’s something that might be useful - Tell the truth. It sounds obvious, but committing to this simple act is difficult because we’ve learned to do the opposite. We’ve learned to lie as a habit in communicating with others and, more surprisingly, ourselves.
This 2-minute video talks about how we got here (the endless lying) and what we can do about it.
There's a process to unlearning the habit of telling little convenient lies, but "by repeatedly choosing the way of integrity, we unwire ourselves for cultural compliance." (Martha Beck)
Be kind to yourself through this process with support from people you trust and love.
Increasing self-awareness and actively observing your behaviour is a great place to start. From here, you can make better choices for yourself and your children. Unfortunately, statistics show that most of us aren’t as aware as we think we are (awks).
Under the pillar of GROW in 4 Pillars of Wholistic Health there are ways to increase your self-awareness.
Do you have the courage to tell the truth, to be honest?
We create a better world when consciously engaging in love and truth with our family and community.
Let’s move forward with truth, transparency, and your children’s well-being as priorities.
With love
PS - Mother of two, Nin shared her insights on how different cultures approach truth-telling, from subtle lies to brutal honesty. This sparked a deeper conversation about the complexities of truth-telling in parenting, including how seemingly innocent tales like the tooth fairy can contribute to a culture of deceit.
Is there an alternate parenting approach based on truth and transparency? What's your take? Leave us a comment below
Watch here.